Decades ago, I unknowingly chose a set of strong patterns to run in my life. I hadn’t realised that they were going to leave me feeling low, continuously tired, lonely and incredibly miserable even though I came from a big close family and had lots of friends. Those patterns shaped and ran a story I told myself that kept me from being happy.
My self esteem was hitting rock bottom. I suffered from anxiety and bouts of depression. I seemed to have all the minor illnesses that life could throw at me. I used to starve myself and then binge on unhealthy food. I was in a repetitive cycle of self loathing and self pity; it wasn’t a pretty sight!
From the outside looking in I expect it looked very different - but from the inside things were in constant turmoil. I was deeply unhappy and suicidal thoughts washed around in my head.
I went to the doctors many times and got very little help; sure, the physical ailments were prescribed away but the emotional pain stayed the same and the demons raged inside.
Hitting my rock bottom, I found this book.
After much procrastination I took myself off to London for an Intensive Journey weekend - the first of many as it turned out. It changed my life.
After attending just one event I knew without a shadow of doubt my life would never be the same again, so much had changed for the better. A light had been switched on inside that has kept calling me ever since. My health improved dramatically, I felt energised. I now new that it was good to be alive. Nothing had changed externally, but my internal landscape was a blaze of hope and possibility.
I trained to become a Journey practitioner - the changes I experienced inside had been so profound that I knew I had to help others to experience the same.
The 20 years since that first Journey process has seen my life get better and better and I continue to dive deeply into the process of working on myself. So much has changed on the outside as a result, and on the inside I love myself and I am happy.
Today I am free to choose how I feel. Every day is a good day, a learning day, and an opportunity to grow and really feel alive. The light continues to call me, to be my guide and inspiration.
My prayer for you is to have the courage to look inside and clear the masks that prevent you from finding what is true, what is real, so that each of us can really wake up to feel alive, free and happy regardless of the outside circumstances.
May 2021 be your year.
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